Holding On To My Heart Like A Hand Grenade
by All.I.Hear.Is.Green.Day
Summary: Based off of the Green Day albums: American Idiot, International Superhits!, and 21st Century Breakdown. J has been through a lot. He finds love, friendship, and his imagination. But will it be taken away from him before he can learn to appreciate it?


_**The Jesus Of Suburbia**_

Meet the Jesus of Suburbia.

His identity is hidden to all, and it's a rare thing if he ever cares about what someone thinks.  
He's got this one girl that he really has his sights set on, but you'll learn about her later.

So, let's get back to J. Yeah, J that's what you're gonna call him.

Now, J has black hair that's spiked up in all directions. He's got these dark eyes that are constantly framed with eyeliner. He has the face of an angel, but he never shows an angel's sweetness. He isn't capable of that.

J has mad style. Always dressing in these punk rocker clothes that describe his insubordinate personality perfectly.

J is called the Jesus of Suburbia for a reason.

He...just hasn't figured it out yet.  
Dumb ass, suicidal bastard.

_**Whatsername**_

Meet Whatsername.  
Just like J her identity is a complete mystery. Also like J she doesn't give a flying shit about what _anyone_ thinks.

That's one of the reasons J loves her so much. Wait, love? Is he capable of that?

But, yeah, Whatsername is the girl J is after.

Whatsername is one of those girls that likes to change their appearance multiple times. Drastically.

Now, right now Whatsername's got medium length red hair. Vibrant red, too. It really stands out and gives her the attention she craves desperately.

Whatsername is one of those...showy girls.

Always looking for attention, tight clothes that are ill fitting, laying around with random guys.

But, there is this one guy. You know him.

His name's J.

Yep, Whatsername's got the hots for the ol' Jesus of Suburbia. I know what your thinking, why don't they just get together?

Now, I dunno, but I think it's because Whatsername can't stop her ways. Y'know, put 'em to rest? But, what do I know? Maybe that's why J likes her. He always liked the rebels.

_**Saint Jimmy**_

Meet St. Jimmy.

J kind of has an overactive imagination. I mean, yeah we're all a little crazy but...it's like St. Jimmy is his imaginary friend. He loves him like a brother always sticking up for him...

It's really strange, and I think we're all a little scared for J.

I mean, he's our dealer! Our Jesus!

"Saint" Jimmy, you're probably wondering about that. We don't really understand why J says he's a saint. Of course, we've all taken our guesses mine being, that he just wants to stand up for him. Personally, I think that J relies on this "Saint Jimmy" of his. It's hurting him though, he needs Jimmy like a drug.

Like he's taking the pain away...what pain I don't know. Maybe something Whatsername caused...

It's like Jimmy is Novocain.

_**Maria**_

Meet Maria.  
So...Maria. They're really isn't much I can say about Maria.

She's...well, she's Maria. She's pretty much just your regular, average, troublemaker. She gets into fights easily and she always gets the last laugh. _Always_. If you get into a fight with her you'll always get some kind of payback.

Maria doesn't regret. Everything she does has a purpose, she's a deep thinker. To sum it all up...

She's evil.

Insane.

Woman-Hitler.

Y'know, almost as bad as a crazy ass mother-in-law.

And, she's super unpredictable. I remember not too long ago, she went missing for about five months, we were all going crazy.

A lot of shit happened that year. Turns out she had ran off to Vegas.

She got knocked-up, and the guy left her. She got an abortion.

God damn, Maria's crazy.

_**Gloria**_

Meet Gloria.

Oh, Gloria. Gloria is basically perfect.

She has a perfect personality, she has the right amount of trouble in her, and then it's balanced out with her crazy-sweet ability to get out of it.

Gloria has gorgeous black hair that she pulls up into a ponytail daily, these few strands of hair hang down and frame her pale, perfect face.

She wears a lot of black, and listens to punk-rock, she's basically perfect for me.

Which is why I'm in love with her, and no, I'm not like J, I can fall in love and stay in it. I have sympathy for J though, he's been through a shit-load.

Anyways, back to Gloria.

Gloria...I could go on for hours. Even her name is perfect...Gloria, glory, glorious.

That was the perfect word to describe her, her personality, her appearance, her _everything_...glorious.

Glorious Gloria.

_**Christian**_

Meet Christian.

In other words, meet me.

I'm Christian, I'm in love with Gloria, music, and hating my life.

I really don't think my life has much purpose, I pretty much live for Gloria. I think I always will.

But, the problem is I don't think she notices me. I see her every day though...

But, there are a ton of people on East 12th Street, so she probably doesn't notice me there in the riots. We _are_ all part of the Underbelly after all.

–

_**The Jesus Of Suburbia:**_

_**(From a third person's point of view)**_

J walked down the noisy street not paying much attention to the sounds he heard. The screams of a woman in a dark alley being mugged; the gun shots of the villain's partner; the regular talk, and sounds you would hear walking down the streets of Murder City.

J focused on his footsteps too angry to watch where he was going.

"Stupid Bush," he muttered under his breath.

George W. Bush had just been elected for president the day before. J was very angry about that, he had to much to deal with already with out that idiot leading the country in which he lived.

"America," J groaned.

He walked past an electronics store, and peered through the window. Televisions were on shelves, lined up with prices labeled on the bottom. On every single screen George W. Bush's face was plastered.

He was giving a speech, about who knows what. Who cares, anyway?

_We might as well all go commit suicide, we're damned regardless, _J thought._ Oh, great, _he continued, _I get to go home and see Mom._ Heavy sarcasm. J's mother was...she loved J, she really did, but...her and all of her boyfriends that she couldn't stick with...

It all took a toll on J. As if the death of his father wasn't hard enough for him.

The walk back to his house was an annoying one. He didn't pay any attention to the sounds around him, he basically ignored it all. He focused on himself, and his life, his drugs, his alcohol, his _world_.

He crashed through the door of his house, slamming the door as a signal to his mother that he was home.

His walk was slouched, a saunter more so, as he went to his room.

As he entered through the door he hummed the song that was stuck in his head.

"Do you have the time to listen to me whine? About nothing and everything all at once. I am one of those melodramatic fools neurotic to the bone no doubt about it. Sometimes I give myself...," he continued to sing the rest of Basket Case by Green Day under his breath.

He grabbed his guitar, and tried to teach himself the song.

He spent that night alone, just him and his guitar. That _night_, once midnight came around he was out the door.

"Where are you going?" his mother shouted at him. She had just come home from a night with her new boyfriend, Brad.

J turned to glare at his mother.

He looked her over, she was dressed in some slutty red dress. She had on heels that were way to tall. Her brown hair was pulled up in some bun type thing at the back of her head.

She brought her hand around to her neck and let her hair down.

"I _said, _'where are you going?'" she repeated herself, shaking her hair out.

"Out," J muttered and sauntered away.

His mother was in disbelief, "_What_?" she asked.

J flipped her off without even looking at her, and stalked out the door.

He headed into her car, started it up, and drove away.

–

**Well, hey guys! That's all for the first chapter! Only five pages, but it's a good start. I really hoped you guys like it so far! I doubt I'm going to get any reviews, so I don't know who I'm writing to...**

**But, yeah thanks a lot for reading the first chapter. The second his coming up _super_ soon! But, yeah thanks a shit load for reading! I'm gonna go worship my shrine of Billie Joe Armstrong now! :]**

**Just kidding.**

**Well...maybe, I was kidding...**

**Nah, gonna go watch the Jesus Of Suburbia music video to get some basic ideas. Thanks for reading the first chapter...again.**

**Woo! Let's go American Idiot!**

**I don't know what I'm gonna call this story yet so send me ideas, alright? For now it's _Untitled._ **

**Again, thanks.**

**Love, Lyssa.**

**(Green Day is holy ^.^)**

**P.S. I love you!**


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